Results Day And Beyond
Friday, August 30, 2019
'I’m just fed up.’
It was
what I kept thinking when I was out of tears, when I was no longer angry or
upset. I was just fed up. Fed up of waiting.
On A Level
results day, 15th August, I was up early. My college posted our
results online at 6am, so I was on my computer at 6:20, having waited until
after the site had crashed and sorted itself out again to have a look. I
clicked on my results page to find my grades – 2 As, and 2 Bs. At first I
wasn’t particularly surprised; I already knew my art would be a B, and had been
worried all summer that I was going to get a B in French. So I wasn’t
surprised, until I noticed that my French A-Level was actually an A,
miraculously. Instead, it was my English Literature that was a B.
This
showed on my face straight away, a mixture of shock and confusion. English
Literature was my safe subject. While my teacher would say ‘we can never
guarantee an A*’, she knew it was likely, since I had got A*s in English
consistently in all the college assessment points, even since early in Year 12.
Now this isn’t me having a brag, because my other subjects certainly weren’t a
walk in the park, therefore I wouldn’t have had the same confusion if I had got
a B in either French or History. I would have been disappointed sure, but not
as surprised. But all I could say is ‘it’s wrong, it has to be wrong’.
Since
college had uploaded the grades online, I had to tell myself perhaps the
algorithm had got it wrong or something. But just over an hour later, when UCAS
track updated, it all suddenly became real, as it told me I hadn’t met the
conditions of my firm university. This was gutting. I had already been rejected
from Oxford in January, but my firm university, UCL, was one I came to love
equally as much, maybe even more, and a place I was very excited to study at.
But I
couldn’t let myself think just yet that I wasn’t going to UCL. College was open
from 9am, and I planned to go straight to my English teacher and ask for a
remark. Fortunately, I didn’t have to ask. The first thing she said was ‘we’ll
get a remark’. It was at least reassuring that straight away she knew the grade
I had received was unjust, and she was going to help get it sorted.
Being the
planner I am, I had a Plan B for what would happen if I didn’t get into UCL.
But this involved what I thought would be the likely scenario – being let down
by a B in French. I would then go to clearing. You may notice I wasn’t
interested in going to my insurance choice – when I got rejected from Oxford, I
realised that I was fine with it, because I equally wanted to go to London. So
while my insurance university was plenty nice enough, it wasn’t in London, and
I was adamant I wasn’t going to settle. But getting my English A-Level remarked
was a scenario I never could have predicted. I couldn’t go to clearing, nor
even consider my insurance choice, because if the remark came through
successfully, I might be able to still go to UCL.
Which is
why, days later, I was fed up of waiting. Again, because I am a person who
likes to plan and know exactly what’s going on, the continued question mark
about university was beginning to drive me crazy. I had already waited longer
than most to know, having had to go through the early Oxford application and
spend time waiting to know if I had got in there or not. Then, I had friends
who had unconditional offers, and their waiting was out of the way as early as
February, so they never even understood how I felt during the wait to results day.
The majority of my friends, who had conditional offers, found out they had got
in on results day and got to start setting up student accounts, change their
Facebook to studying at whatever uni they are going to, and you know, actually
be able to see their short-term future.
Yet I was
still waiting.
I waited
and waited until the Tuesday 27th, twelve days after results day,
when I finally received a confirmation letter from the exam board, informing me
that my result had gone up. It had gone up enough to meet the UCL conditions,
but not as much as I had hoped. While my first paper went up by a whopping 19
marks (crazy, right!!), the other paper I had remarked
didn’t change at all, which I really doubt should have been the case based on
how much my other changed.
Finally,
exactly two weeks after everyone else had received the official unconditional
offers, my own appeared from UCL on UCAS. Of course, I still had one little
tiny milestone to get through first. I was incredibly stressed about
accommodation. I was super worried that I wasn’t going to get the sort of
accommodation I wanted, since my application would be processed so much later
than everyone else’s and felt like I couldn’t properly say I was going to UCL until
I knew where I would be living.
Thankfully,
somehow my luck finally struck and as I write this, I have just been offered my
first choice accommodation halls at UCL this year. Finally, it feels real, I’ve
been able to book my train ticket down and feel ready to post this onto my
blog. I can finally say I am going to UCL this year!
While I was
waiting to find out if everything would work out, I decided to go radio silent
on my Twitter and Instagram feed. I gave a little update on my insta story but
I didn’t feel comfortable acting like everything was okay this time when it
wasn’t, everything was all over the place. I only thought it would last a
couple of days but annoyingly time went on! Eventually I decided I wasn’t going
to post anything until everything was sorted and I was posting this to my blog,
to properly explain everything that has gone on – I couldn’t condense it into a
Tweet, that’s for sure. I have been keeping up writing blog posts so while I
wasn’t posting, there are lots of fun things to come over here.
I really
want to say a huge thank you to everyone has been there for me over the past
couple of weeks, you know who you are and I am incredibly grateful. It is so
reassuring to know I have people looking out for me, even some I have never
met. But sometimes it takes disaster to strike to realise those who are there
and those who unfortunately are not. To those supposedly best friends who
haven’t supported me, you have only added to my disappointment, but also made
those people who have provided love and support shine even brighter.
I suppose
I’m writing this to let you all know what’s been going on, but also as
reassurance to anyone who is going through something similar or may do in the
future. Sometimes everything isn’t simple, and something results day goes in a
way that you never even considered you would need a plan for.
A study
published just before results day showed that in English Literature and
History, up to 48% of exams may be marked wrong. While at the time, before
results day, I thought the media was stirring up attention, now I realise how
true this is and how much it has affected me. This statistic is crazy and needs fixing. Personally I don’t know
how, but somehow this needs attention bringing to and someone has to accept responsibility.
Errors like these will put even more people off studying humanities subjects,
which are plummeting each year as it is, and are likely to also alter and
damage many young people’s futures. It certainly ruined my results day and
could have potentially ruined a lot more.
If this
sort of thing happens to you, which I imagine may be the case for some with the
statistics showing how many exams are marked wrong, my main advice in this
situation is to trust your heart. While my head at times thought ‘maybe
settling for my insurance is the most sensible thing to do’, I knew I would be
betraying myself and everything that I wanted. I didn’t settle, even when
through the self-doubt I didn’t see myself getting to UCL, and it was the best
choice I made. I have always felt that UCL was meant to be, and I certainly
wasn’t going to let someone else’s error get in my way.
Good luck
to everyone starting uni this year along with myself, and I am just realising
now I can finally say – get excited for all the uni & London
related blog posts over here on Everything Erin, I certainly can’t wait to
write them!
EG x
Photos from this post were taken on a trip to London a week before results day - I never ended up getting round to writing about my trip so I still wanted to share a few of my favourite photos, I felt like they tied in very well with this post.
Get The Glow This Summer
Wednesday, August 14, 2019
When it comes to summertime makeup, for me I love a natural base paired with a gorgeous highlighter for a soft glow. While this look suits all year round, it is certainly what comes to my mind in summer, so today I am sharing with you the highlighters you need, in three different formulas - a powder, a cream and a liquid finish, perfect for everyone.
THE POWDER GLOW - Colourpop's Supershock Highlight in Flexitarian
Colourpop's Supershock powder highlighters are genuinely out of this world, so much so that when I purchased mine in the shade Flexitarian, it was basically the only highlighter I used for a year! I seriously could not get enough of it.
It is so easy to apply, dabbing it with a finger onto the tops of your cheekbones, browbone etc, and gives an everlasting glow throughout the day. I love how pigmented it is, which of course is a given being a Colourpop product, and although they have a huge shade range I would really recommend Flexitarian - the champagne-gold tone is really flattering and pretty.
THE CREAM GLOW - Fenty Beauty's Shimmer Stick in Starstruck
My most recent makeup purchase is certainly a good one; when Fenty Beauty arrived in Boots I knew I had to try something from the range, and I settled on a shimmer stick because I didn't own anything like it. Again, super easy to apply, straight from the stick onto your skin, or dabbing on with your finger if you want a lighter glow. I went for the shade Starstruck which is a pink toned highlight, probably the second lightest in her collection so perfect to add some glow while also leaving a natural finish.
The packaging is also so stunning and sleek in the light pink - they are also magnetic so if you get more, or one of her foundation sticks they all stick together! It has impressed me so much I am really interested in trying some more products, her powder highlighter duos really impress me too.
THE LIQUID GLOW - L'Oreal's True Match Liquid Glow Illuminator in Icy Glow
Back in the day I was a real liquid highlighter lover because of how easy it is to blend into the skin for a natural yet glowing look. The L'Oreal liquid illuminator is my personal favourite because it is a perfect dupe of Benefit's High Beam - the pink iridescent shade is an almost exact match, while you get way more product for your money, lasting you absolutely ages!
What's your favourite highlighting product this summer?
EG x
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