Do you ever feel like you're writing, but no one is really reading what you have to say?

The reason I fell in love with blogging is that I felt that finally, people wanting to read what I had to say, yet lately I feel like I'm missing that.

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For the past few months, I've felt really unmotivated to blog. I love blogging and I want to enjoy it, yet recently I've felt like I don't anymore, and that it feels like a bit of a chore. That I don't really feel like taking photos, and when I do I don't like how they turn out. When it comes to writing the post I feel like the words don't even come.

It has been really getting me down, and I just had to keep telling myself - 'once exams are over and you don't feel like you should be revising instead, it will be fine!', 'once you get back from your holiday and have lots of new content to post, it will be fine!'. But now I have loads of time, loads of new beauty products to write about and yet still, no motivation.

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I started to try and work out exactly why I feel this way towards blogging, because it's a strange feeling - I want to enjoy it, but I'm not. It was then that I worked out I'm feeling a lack of motivation because I feel like I'm getting nowhere with my posts. I don't feel like they're getting noticed, or getting any recognition, and instead, it's like I'm shouting into a void where no one is listening.

I realised that this is probably partly my own fault. I don't read blogs like I used to, comment like I used to - I promised myself at the start of this year I was going to comment on blogs a lot more but this just seems to have gone in the opposite direction. But when I open Bloglovin' to posts that aren't even topics that interest me, have to sift through a million and one tweets about love island to find out about new blog posts on Twitter and Instagram is being... well Instagram, it can be difficult to even find out my favourite bloggers have new posts up.


Which is probably why I'm feeling like I have less of a readership too, and lost in the community. A couple of years ago, blogging had such a community feeling. I had a much smaller following number (I don't even think I'd hit a thousand yet on Twitter), but I felt like everyone was out to support each other. There was so much love for each other's post shared, and I miss that. I want to somehow start that again, I don't know exactly how - perhaps with a chat that somehow won't become inactive after two days, or a hashtag everyone can share their new posts on. I started using the #bloggershare suggested by Lauren Ann to try and beat the Instagram Algorithm and I'm discovering so many amazing new posts through that.

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A blogging refresh is also something I'm attempting to do as well, because it seems everyone is always excited by something new. I've decided to change the way I edit photos to see if I enjoy taking them more, change up the style of posts I write a bit and possibly even change the look of my blog a bit - watch this space...

Make sure to read part 1 of my diary before this to read what I got up to on the first half of my trip to New York! 

After the busy days I had the first three days, we had no plans to slow down, as on the fourth day we walked up to the top of Central Park to go to the MET museum. Along the way I stumbled upon the Shakespeare statue which as an English Lit student it would be rude to not take a photo with (I am also obsessed with my stripy New Look trousers).


I had wanted to take a photo on the MET steps pretending I was in Gossip Girl but unfortuantely the weather had turned super rainy and blustery so it wasn't really possible. In all honesty I found the MET to be a bit of a disappointment, but on the way back we visited Ulta and Bloomingdales which certainly weren't.


That evening we went to the Hard Rock Cafe which was really good - although just like everywhere else we went, the portions were huge! After I came out we took some photos in Times Square, which was so much nicer on a weekday evening such as Thursday, rather than the weekend - still busy but not so overwhelming!


On the Friday came the longest walk yet. It started with a walk down the High Line to the Friends building, which of course I took loads of photos in front of and was actually one of my highlights of my whole trip, which I know is crazy as it's just a building but being a huge Friends fan it was a real delight.


We then carried on down Broadway and across to Brooklyn bridge, which had an amazing view but honestly I was so tired by this point. I don't think it helped that it was pretty much 30°c either! We stopped off at Grimaldi's pizza which was probably my favourite meal of the trip - a definite recommend, before walking back via the 9/11 museum. I walked over 13 miles on that day and was definitely glad to rest my feet once I got back to the hotel.


On my final full day we went up the Top Of The Rock. The view was definitely more impressive than the Empire State, as everyone says, because you can see Central Park at one side and the Empire state at the other.


We then went for a cheesecake lunch at Juniors, off Times Square. I had a chocolate mousse cheesecake which was amazing, although the size of it was insane!


Finally we remembered we wanted to visit the New York Public Library, so I went to with my mum while my dad and brother attempted to begin packing (using the word attempt very loosely). We only had about half an hour before it closed which was a shame as I could so easily have spent hours in there. The building was incredible and they had an amazing selection of books - I think I got a bit too excited when I found the history section in the Rose Reading Room. 


My New York journey had finally come to an end! The last thing I did before we left was take a photo in front of the Grace building - it's such a unique, curved shape, but most importantly, my middle name is Grace so I always wanted a photo in front of it. 


I would love to visit New York again one day, it was such an incredible experience and there are still so many things I would love to do there - unfortunately there were no shows that suited us all but next time I would make sure to see one for definite. 

I played one of my favourite Taylor Swift songs, which seemed to fit the situation very well, as I entered New York, feeling possibly the most excited I have ever been. It was like that feeling when the band comes onto the stage at a concert, but instead with skyscrapers appearing at every angle.


*the hotel I stayed in, the Knickerbocker just off Times Square was such an impressive building, and I couldn't get lost as long as I followed the huge billboard of Anne Hathaway next to it!

We took a week long trip to New York, flying Sunday to Sunday, giving us six full days there. The first day, consisted of a walk up to the Natural History Museum. Staying just off Times Square, we walked up through Broadway as we went. It seemed like an incredibly long walk, possibly made worse by the fact I was starting to get a cold, but eventually we reached the museum.


I definitely tried to explore the museum 'Night In The Museum' style (why else would I have watched the films the week before I came), but although I wasn't expecting all the exhibits to come to life or anything, it did seem to lack a bit of the magic the film creates. We did find the big 'Dum dum' statue though which was probably what I ended up most excited about.


A walk back through Central Park (which I was actually disappointed by, I don't know if it was because it was heaving due to the memorial day or that I just felt really lost), lead to Fifth Avenue and my first taste at some of New York's shops. I had been planning on purchasing something from Tiffany's for a long time so I was delighted to leave that shop with a gorgeous necklace in a little blue bag.


The next day began early, to avoid the large queues going up the Empire State building. We got there about ten to nine which I think ended up about perfect - at half 10 when we were leaving it was starting to get busy. The views were incredible, I could even spot my hotel, right near the huge H&M tower.


I was also excited to find The Vamps along their wall of celebrities who have visited the building, so of course I couldn't resist a photo with them.


We then headed down towards the Flat Iron building which is such a unique build, primarily because my brother was desperate to get to the Lego shop right across from it, but also to stop off at Madison Square Park for lunch at their Shake Shack. I much prefer the smaller parks, such as Madison Park or Bryant Park near my hotel, than the large central park.


How could I go to New York and not visit Macy's? I bought some Anastasia Beverly Hills products in here, as I mentioned in my New York beauty haul.


Later in the day we visited Grand Central Station (where I tried to channel my inner Serena Van Der Woodsen but think I ended up just looking bored because my dad was spending forever in their Apple shop) before revisiting the Empire State at night. I would seriousy recommend the New York City Passes as, amongst huge savings it allows you to get into the Empire State at both day and night. However, I have to say going in the day was much better, both photography wise and the queues at night were crazy. Seeing all the lights was gorgeous though.


My third day included a river cruise which I honestly really enjoyed as after being so busy the past couple of days it was so nice to just be able to sit and take in the views for an hour and a half. We went past the Statue Of Liberty which was amazing and I have about a million photos in my camera roll of - I tried to do one of those holding the landmark photos but ended up looking confused.


We visited the Intrepid museum after that which I didn't take a huge amount of photos of because it was largely planes, which my dad and brother really enjoyed but I mostly enjoyed the warm weather. We then walked back through some Times Square streets, and our evening trip was to the Shake Shack in Madison Square Park which was really pretty in the evening with its lights - however I had forgot my jacket not realising it had got a lot cooler than earlier in the day and was freezing!

Welcome to the biggest beauty haul to date on my blog, and possibly the biggest one I will ever do! Visiting New York, of course I couldn't resist exploring the beauty brands they have on offer in shops like Ulta and Sephora, especially as everything is either cheaper there or not even sold in shops in the UK. I had been saving for months for this and hadn't bought any makeup at all since my little Sephora first impressions in France, so I was so ready to pick up some new products to play with.

I was hoping to get this post up a little earlier but unfortunately what with going back to college after the half term, being jetlagged and my phone almost losing all my photos for this post - meaning I couldn't get them edited for a few days - it has had to be delayed a little bit! But from now on, now that college is a bit less busy, I will be going back to my usual Saturday and Wednesday uploads I am very happy to say. Onwards with the haul, I have a lot to get through!


The first place I picked a couple of products up was actually when I was in Macy's, as these were products I knew I just had to buy, from Anastasia Beverely Hills. The first of which is the gorgeous Modern Renaissance palette, which I have been wanting for the longest time, but waited as it is a lot cheaper to buy in America. It's such a perfect palette, full of gorgeous warm red and orange tones, and as I tried it for the first time yesterday (I wanted to wait until I had time to properly use it), I was spoilt for choice and didn't know which shades to begin with!


I also picked up another ABH Brow Wiz pencil in the shade Ebony, I bought my first of these in France about three months ago but it ran out just before I went to New York, so I took the opportunity to buy another one as I love it so much. I was super disappointed at how quick it ran out though for how much it costs - I had a look in Boots and Superdrug the other day at their brow products for a cheaper alternative but every brand always seem to offer about three shades, none dark enough for me! So I'm going to have to stick to my beloved Brow Wiz for now.


Somewhere I was really excited to explore was Ulta - it was a long walk from where I was staying on a rainy day, but probably one of my highlights of the trip, I'm not exaggerating. Being able to look at proper Colourpop and Morphe stands was such a delight! Since Colourpop shipping to the UK often works out more than the product, I had only been able to dream of their products until now, so made sure I tried out a bit of everything they had on offer.


I had to make sure to try one of their liquid lipsticks, so chose the lightest shade available as I felt it was very fitting with my trip, the shade 'Times Square'. It's a gorgeous browny nude that I can tell I will use a lot, especially at $6.50! I also wore it through a whole Hard Rock Café meal and it had not budged, so I was very impressed!


I also picked up a couple of their eyeshadows in Set To Sun, a pinky shimmer with blue glitter, it looked so unique I had to have it, and Lightning Bug, a brown - I actually thought I picked up a lighter shade but instead got this one by accident, but I'm not complaining as it is equally gorgeous! I can't believe how pigmented their shadows are and can't wait to use them. I also got a highlighter in the shade Flexitarian, which is so pretty, I was after a really nice powder highlight and at $8 I am more than happy with it!


I then went over to the Morphe stand and after looking at all their palettes and dithering over whether I should just get a small one, I bit the bullet and got the 35O, as that was the palette I had been dreaming after for so long so why not get it? It is the biggest eyeshadow palette I have ever seen and it is so gorgeous and wearable, I am super excited to use it.

I also picked up a couple of their eye brushes as I really wanted to try some out, the M433, and the M514, which is actually the perfect dupe for the MAC 217, which I almost got, but compared it to this one and decided I really didn't need it for that extra money! I can't wait to use them, and I think they were $6 which I simply couldn't resist.


Speaking of MAC, how could I not end up getting a MAC lipstick while I was in Bloomingdale's? Especially as they are so much cheaper in the US, I just had to, so I have welcomed my 12th shade, the matte Taupe into my collection. I also picked up a mini pigment in the shade Melon because I really want to try more of their pigments and this shade looks gorgeous.


My final little bits and pieces were a few products I picked up in Sephora. I really wanted to try Stila's liquid eyeshadows for the longest time, and instead of just picking one for $24, I ended up going for the set of three mini sizes for $25, as then I would get to try out three different shades and probably won't get through a full sized one anyway! The shades included are Rose Gold Retro (my fave), Kitten Karma and Smoldering Satin. I just think these are going to look so pretty as an all over lid shade!


I also picked up the Too Faced chocolate matte bronzer - like highlighter, I had also been after a good bronzer, and decided on this one. It was really between Too Faced and ABH as I loved how big the ABH pans were, but all their shades seemed a bit too orange, whereas Too Faced's bronzer is perfect for my skin tone and I can't wait to use it.


The final product I bought on the trip was from Tarte. I really wanted to buy something from Tarte as you can't get their products in the UK, so I decided to go for something I know I will love, which is of course a lipstick. I chose the shade Colada, a brown nude which I can't wait to try and I am sure will become one of my go-to shades!


So there you have it - the biggest haul I have ever done! I am sure I will end up posting about my non-beauty items I purchased soon on my blog and also hopefully full reviews of some of these products, so make sure to keep an eye out for those! I am also planning to post a New York photo diary as I took a lot of photos - it will mean sorting and editing a lot of photos though, I took almost 700!